Instead, I’ve decided to put forth thoughts provoked and reinforced by not only that film, but also the recent story about the Afghan man nearly put to death for converting to Christianity. Thoughts which also tie in to my outrage over the current U.S. administrations unconstitutional actions. Enough preamble, let’s get to it.

The government does not grant us any rights. Therefore it cannot, of it’s own volition, take them away. The rights we have, as described in (not given by) the Constitution are ours because those who wrote it believed that all of us posses those rights inherently. People living in a fascist state still have the right to assemble peacably. The government of that country may prevent the people from enacting that right, but it cannot take away the right itself. Our freedoms do not exist as some writing on a piece of paper or even as some free floating concept out in the world which can be roped and restrained. No, our freedom originates and lives in each of us.

The government, on the other hand, has no inherent rights. We, as a people choose what rights and powers it has. When the founding fathers cenceived our present government, they set before it two tasks, to protect our lives and to protect our liberty. To that end, they conceded to it all the power they imagined it would need. As they knew the imagination, while boundless in potential, is limited in practice, they left open the possibility that the government might need more power to fulfill its two goals. That stroke has made villians of us all.

Let’s look closer. Why should our lives be protected? So that we may live them, of course. And yet, why should we care about living our lives if we are restricted from living them as we would choose? Hence the need to ensure that our liberty and, more to the point, our ability to put into practice that liberty is also protected. Some, myself included, consider that second need to be the more vital. As Patrick Henry said, “Give me liberty or give me death.” If forced to choose between a long life lived without the chance to act freely or a short life in which I am free to do as I choose, I cannot imagine not choosing the latter circumstance.

It all comes down to that choice. Life or liberty? We cannot have both unrestricted. Yet, while our liberty is not inherently limited in any way, our lives are inherently constrained. We are mortal. We can takes steps to put off the day of our death, but we can not prevent it. By design, our lives are more limited than what we can do while we are living them. So why do we choose, continually, life over liberty?

(As I need to eat lunch and take care of several errands, I’ll continue this piece in a second part in the next day or two.)

1. Why aren’t I building my life up on that foundation?

2. What do I need to do to move my life onto that foundation?

Since I started writing this second part, I’ve taken a bit of action in the real world and done a lot of thinking away from the keyboard. As a result, I think I’ve already worked out an answer to the first question and it’s a stunningly simple one. I’m not building on the foundation because it’s not fully formed yet. Of course that answer just begs the question of why hasn’t it solidified?

In part it’s because I have very wrongheadedly been nervous about being open about what I now believe. See my beliefs fall under the heading of Baptist. (Now before you start phoning up the proverbial men in white coats, at least take a look at the wikipedia article on Baptists. The perception and in some cases practice of Baptist doctrine has been skewed by, among others, the Southern Baptist Convention. So what you think it means to be Baptist is likely wrong. In fact the sermon at the church to which I went on Sunday covered that exact topic.) That nervousness has held me back from fully embracing and building up this new base. I realized though in starting to write about my efforts that those of you who are really my friends may question me about this path or even think you should call the asylum, but you’ll know that a lot of thinking has gone into this decision and will at least support my freedom to make this choice if not the choice itself. (I’ve got one friend who likely still believes I made this choice because of her, but, like me, she can be too egocentric at times.)

So now that I’ve gotten past caring what anyone else thinks about my faith, is there anything holding me back from firming up that faith (which is clearly the first part of the answer to question number two) so that it can be the basis of my life? I don’t think so. For years I avoided settling on a single set of beliefs because I thought the search was of primary import and that once you embrace a religion the game was over. Over the past year, however, I’ve come to understand that after the choice comes the process of understanding and doing; understanding the meaning and implications of your faith and doing by putting it into practice. Both are as much of a struggle as the search itself was. So avoiding making a choice was the only other thing holding me back. (Not making a choice is of course making a choice and, I believe now, the wrong choice.)

So, I’m not building on my faith because it’s not strong enough yet to support my life. To ground my life on my faith, I need to first strengthen it. I’ve gotten past my self imposed obstacles and have now found the tools I need to take that step. As for what I need to do after I’ve firmed up my belief, that part of the answer will have to wait for a third part sometime down the line.

First off, let me say that I consider being spiritually grounded to mean, very simply, that a person’s chosen religion or system of belief forms the basis for all choices, actions, and words put forth by said person. (Yes, my syntax in this post will be the sort that makes Hemingway’s nostril hairs spontaneously combust. Deal with it.) At times I think that has described me, but it’s been a while since that was true. I could claim that the massive change in my beliefs over the past seven months has left me on uncertain footing, unable yet to build properly from such a new foundation. That would be nothing more than a nearly worthless excuse though. (No excuse is truly worthless in that it can reveal something about about the person who uses it. This excuse has a little more worth than that even, but I’ll get to that later.)

The truth about the truth of why I’ve been ungrounded of late is that I’m not certain what it is. I’ve not yet come to a conclusion; a conclusion which would then allow me to make a correction. Just in starting to write all of this out though, an answer has begun to glimmer forth from the darkness of my confusion. With the goal of getting those few people who actually read this blog to actually read all of this, I’m going to serialize it instead of slapping it up on the page in one massive 1000+ word piece. So this is the end for the moment. The next part will hopefully find it’s way up here tomorrow.

The first several starts were about my beliefs regarding life, the universe, and everything and how they derive from the ideas of God and free will. None of those pushes made it further than an opening paragraph. The previous college try was evolving into a bit on how having a new girlfriend, the first one in about three and a half years, had distracted me from the examination and testing of those beliefs. Then she called up and I found myself distracted from thoughts of how she’s distracted me from thoughts on the universe.

In fairness, she bears some responsibility for awakening me to how distracted I was and said distraction was my own not quite conscious choice. See, a few days back she convinced me to buy and start reading Fear and Trembling by Søren Kierkegaard. As I started reading it, I remembered that these thoughts were the ones I had wanted to be having, thoughts on faith, God, and the struggles of the soul, not wondering when I’d see her next and did I say the right thing on the phone just then.

Given the way in which I see the world, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive though. I just need to remember to put in the effort to not lose the big thoughts. I consider that all elements of life have a metaphorical meaning, that all the humdrum facets of life can and should be examined as a part of a narrative. In the same way that college students, in between drunken stupors, will pick apart the measly flesh of a Hemingway novel searching for deeper meaning, I choose to pick apart the tiniest details of my own life, searching for meaning.

Basically, I’m saying that I need to take more time to step back and truly see her and me and our relationship. I need to find the meaning in it. Why are we together now? Why her? What I’m also saying is you should expect the occasional post from me doing just that, picking apart my relationship to understand it and its place in the larger story of my life. And lastly I’m saying, try it yourself. Step back and look at your life as a story. Become like a child and ask why about everything in your life. Why do you do A before B in the morning? Do you consider A to be more important? If so, why? Pick the flesh off the bones of your life. You just might learn something.

I’m writing about this random idea not to convince you that I am insane, though that thought is likely crossing at least some of your minds. I share it because it was not a random one time flight of fancy and therefore provides a better glimpse into my thoughts about reality than many of you have previously received. The world, as I see it, is one of infinite possibility. Nothing, even spontaneously being an elephant, is impossible.

So if nothing is impossible, why isn’t everyone living in peace and happiness? The short answer is choice (and thanks to Damien for the it’s-right-in-front-of-you slap on the head that he didn’t know he gave me). Our existence begins with a choice. It’s not a choice made just once though. We each make the choice every instant. We have all chosen to be where and who and what we are (and I expect more people reading this will object to that idea than the idea that I could suddenly be an elephant).

The part of the choice that often gets forgotten, at least by me, is the context. The other day, I did remember it and it was a key factor (other than the fact that I didn’t feel much desire to be an elephant) in me not making that choice. My thought of being an elephant didn’t include changing my context, my location in spacetime. In that context, a high school hallway, suddenly being an elephant would have presented too many problems, so I chose not to be one, but to continue being a human.

There’s plenty more for me to say on this issue, but it is late and I think I’ve already put forth enough ideas for you to consider (or dismiss, the choice is yours). (This post is evidence of why I need to always schedule writing time for just after I get out of the shower, as half of this was written while I was in there.)