so that’s what it’s like

As funny as the fake anti-piracy ads were on Boondocks tonight, this one from The IT Crowd beats them hands down. .

we’re like the chinese

So apparently, us Southerners are all into dog fightin’ and that’s why Michael Vick should be given a pass, cause we’x just different down here:

flash in the pan

Gah. The next “new” episode of Flash Gordon has a villain with a suit that makes him look like anybody. In a heart wrenching, pulse pounding scene Dale has a gun drawn on real Flash and evil guy pretending to be Flash and has to figure out which is which or risk killing the star of the show!

Why has no one thought of this before?! A few shapeshifters and we could eliminate the whole cast.

you got riff raff in my temporal rift

a quick and dirty flash gordon outline off the top of my head that would have had f***ing rocketships

Football star, Flash Gordon, out in the country to watch the sunrise with his girlfriend and propose to her, witnesses a failed rocket launch. They investigate and find Zarkov and his assistant Dale Arden, living on a farm trying to build a rocket to stop a near earth asteroid that will collide with the earth in 6 months. The asteroid’s orbit had shifted suddenly several months before.

They decide the guy’s crazy and leave him. A few days later Flash sees the guy on the news being interviewed. A mysterious private investor has stepped up to fund Zarkov’s rocket. The investor, through an employee, wants to hire Flash as spokesman for the effort. Flash agrees and since it’s the off season spends a lot of time around Zarkov’s farm.

The asteroid accelerates and a second asteroid changes it’s orbit to head for earth. Zarkov’s crew is overseas or otherwise unavailable and he needs to launch immediately to deal with the first asteroid. Zarkov convinces Flash to join him and Dale.

When they arrive at the asteroid, they discover engines on it and, behind the asteroid, a ship. A ship which slices open their rocket, sending them into space. The ship quickly suctions them in.

Flash and Zarkov are tortured and questioned while Dale is whisked off in a shuttle to a larger ship out in the asteroid belt where more asteroids are being fitted with engines to be used to attack Earth. There she meets Ming, who, though he controls many worlds, is personally overseeing this operation.

Back on the first ship, Flash is freed by a woman who says she is secretly working for the underground resistance against Ming. They free Zarkov, the crew member is killed, but not before cluing Zarkov into how to change the course of the asteroid. He also delivers a clue as to why Earth is being attacked.

Dale is freed by a mysterious woman who helps her get to a shuttle. They escape Ming’s ship and head for the asteroid control craft.

Flash is holding off the crew while Zarkov alters the course of the asteroid, aiming it toward the second asteroid.

Dale and mystery lady arrive dock with the control ship and make it to the bridge just as Flash is shot and Zarkov sends the asteroid off on it’s new course. The woman brings Flash back to life. Ming then appears in a transmission, revealing that she is his daughter and that he has activated the destruct mechanism of the craft.

The four of them make it to a shuttle and leave just as the ship explodes. The asteroid is out of control now, but it is too late for Ming to stop it destroying the second one.

The group returns to Earth where they are welcomed as heroes. They also finally meet the investor. Unseen by nearly everyone, Ming’s daughter and the investor trade a look suggesting that they in fact know each other. Later Ming’s daughter makes contact with Ming. Flash reunites with his fiance and we see a bit of awkwardness between him, her, and Dale.